It is Well

I have been teaching for 22 years!  That seems like a long time!  I know that there are others who have taught much longer than that, and I applaud them!  On top of teaching for 22 years, the last 11 of them have been in middle school. Again, I know that there are those that have beaten me in that number too.  Well, I figure that my teaching job definitely fits the description of laughter and tears on the journey.

I have told my students many times that I am entertained every day.  There is usually something said or done every day that makes me laugh.  One day all my students just fell in the floor during the middle of class while I was working at my desk. Without looking up, I just told them that a bunch of Pre-AP students must want detention.  I’ve never seen a class full of students get in their seats so quickly. Finally, someone quietly said another teacher told them to do it.  I let them think they were in trouble and then finally cracked a smile.  I’ve never seen a class of kids so relieved!

Of course, there are times that the job can make me cry, too.  I’ve had multiple students run away from home. I’ve had students tell me they were up all night because a family member was arrested.  Just the other morning we had a mom of a student commit suicide. These kids will definitely break your heart.

This year has been especially hard for me.  I started the year after taking care of my mom for a good part of the summer. I enjoyed every moment I spent with her. But when I took her home, I knew she wouldn’t live many months longer.  When school started, we had the worst group of students we had encountered in several years.  Discipline issues were off the chart.  They didn’t care about what was going on in the classroom.  Of course, my heart was crushed when my mom passed, and depression set in for many months.  This spring the depression started lifting. Then Oklahoma teachers walked out!  For two weeks, there was no school right when we were supposed to start testing.

I feel like my year has been piecemeal at best. I’ve done the lessons. I’ve graded the papers. I’ve attended the meetings. But “It” was missing. I was worrying if I was going to make it until retirement after all.

I was sitting at my desk grading papers just the other day. My Pre-AP class had read “The Giver” and had to answer a prompt about being told what your job would be at age 12. I was reading their responses which included things like maybe not liking something someone else chose or not getting to do what you’re passionate about. While grading I was listening to music, and “It is Well” by Bethel Music came on.  As the chorus sang “It is well/It is well with my soul”, I just started smiling.

I know. I know that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be. I went back and looked at the lyrics, and I’m amazed that God just spoke to me as I graded that particular assignment with that particular song. “And far be it for me to not believe/Even when my eyes can’t see.” There were so many times this past year that I had no idea how I would make it through the next day.  But I did.  “So let go my soul and trust in Him.” I had to do that so many times this last year (and years before).  That’s why as I graded those papers, I could smile and sing along, “And through it all, through it all/My eyes are on You/And it is well with me.”